God is Patient: A Year in Review (2020)
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What a year it has been. Every year seems to be a roller coaster but his one was one like no other; individually and collectively. Twenty-twenty in Australia started with fire that ravened much of the country. We also saw a virus that debilitated and disabled both people and countries. We saw riots over race, politics and toilet paper. People of notability fell as darkness came to light. Fear and distrust steeled peoples thoughts. In many cases, 2020 was, globally, a disastrous year; one that many would rather forget.
Personally this year came with challenges that were heavy- family health challenges, stress and burnout to name a few. Early in lock down, I hit rock bottom from years of giving out of nothing; my soul was fractured and empty. I had lived most of my life living at full speed, using God to escape from God and busyness to escape from emotion. Something needed to change. It was a long time coming but like most things lock down hastened the downfall and the need to change.
2020 was the year I decided to get help. Anxiety was crippling me and after a doctors consultation I found out I was clinically depressed. I was shocked. I knew it was bad but didn’t think it was that bad! However, this was the catalyst for change. With the help of medication and regular counseling and psychology, a change started to happen. In addition to this I decided it was time to be still and find rest and healing for my soul. An influential book for this soul healing was Get Your Life Back: Everyday Practices For A World Gone Mad.
A lifestyle change was also made. After reading The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry I knew it was time to live differently by slowing down, simplifying, being silent and having times of solitude and practicing sabbath more purposefully.
In 2020, I became a Primary Music teacher at a country school. This was a childhood dream! But the dream did not last; it was tough and very stressful and I resigned at the years completion. We also welcomed our first (and last for a while at least) international student; Hikaru. He was great fun to have and it was such a pleasure for us as a family to host him. In his last week, we found out that there was a surprise to come; our third child.
After a rough pregnancy, we welcomed Hezekiah Noah Godfrey on the 13th of October. This was also the date of a theology exam I was meant to be sitting. Hezekiah’s entrance was very quick which cause complications with his breathing. He ended up being transferred to the Intensive Care Nursery Unit at the Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital. Dee was discharged but later needed to be admitted again due to remaining membrane. Unfortunately, Hezekiah and Dee (at different times) were hospitalized 2 more times with additional trips to Emergency. I praise God that I had done the soul work and sought help with mental health prior to all this happening. It was still very challenging, no doubt, but my soul was at rest.
The year saw the completion of my time at Hillsong College Brisbane. I graduated with a Diploma of Ministry with the Outstanding Student Award (for the second time). Dee was later accepted into TAFE for 2021to start study in Veterinary Nursing.
I passed on the leadership baton for Kids Creative to two fantastic people who will see amazing things happen in the ministry. After 15 years of Kids ministry, I felt it was time to make way for others and move on.
Dee and I were able to pay off all of our consumer debt, which was a miracle during a time of recession. Although it was a time of great heartache there was also moments of blessing. Many other things happened I am sure.
Many would rather forget 2020 but I think it is a year to remember. A year to learn from our wrongs and the wrongs of notable people; if it could happen to them, it could happen to us. We need to lament over sickness, death, racial divide, political divide, fear and anxiety. These things are not part of what was originally designed. Many Christians might ask, “what would Jesus do?” We Know form John 11:35 what he would do first; weep.
I encourage you to grieve the year that has passed but grieve with hope.
On the one hand, you can try to avoid grief. You can try to avoid weeping. That will either make you hard and inhuman, or else it will erupt later on and bite you and devastate you. The other mistake is to grieve without hope. The love and hope of God and one another has to be rubbed into our grief the way you rub salt into meat or it will go bad. Your grief is either going to make you bleaker and weaker, or it could make you far wiser and good and tender, depending on what you rub into it. That’s what we’re here to do. We are here not just to weep but to rub hope and love into our weeping. — Timothy Keller, sermon after 9/11, Truth, Tears, Anger & Grace, on John 11:20–53
To end, I titled this post “ God is Patient” — 2018 was God is Kind and 2019, God is Faithful — this is because he has been patiently waiting. He has been patiently waiting for me to turn and give everything to Him. Waiting for me to go back, reduce speed, stop, dig deep, look and listen. I think, he may be patiently waiting for you to do the same. It is hard, painful and slow but worth it.
I pray that I have been able to encourage you. Every situation that we think is unique to us and should be kept secret, is not. Bring light to the dark places. You may be surprised how many say “ me too”.
Please also pray for me. 2021 is full of many unknowns. There have been distractions, which are good things to do in themselves but are not the right thing. Please pray fro wisdom and discernment.
